No Delusions
I'm at the stage in my life where society thinks I should be married or in a serious relationship. I'll save the details of the social pressure but suffice it to say that questions about my plans for marriage are third after "How are you?" and "What's new?" Even Facebook greets me with pictures of my friends getting engaged and ads from dating sites. But the other day as I flipped through a few pictures of "cute couples" on social media I was reminded of the popular saying that "not all that glitters is gold." To that I add that even if it is gold, it took that gold a lot to get that glittering look you see.
This is not a rant about how all women should be independent and never get married. Anyone who knows me will testify that marriage is something I very much look forward to but I'm fully aware that it will also be my greatest stretch assignment and my most humbling ministry. I fear that its portrayal in society today makes it all too easy to forget this.
The last time I saw a picture of one of my "friends" on social media and their "boo" it was with them smiling or laughing or doing something fun that would quite naturally stir the "aaaaaaaaww" in anyone and the "I can't wait to have that" in many single women (I'm a woman so I'll only speak for the women. I'm sure some men feel the same but I won't presume to know this with certainty). And its a great desire to have but it makes me wonder if marriage has become this glamoured up thing because we always see the glittered up pictures and forget that marriage is no easy feat.
On any given day I see pictures, plenty of pictures...of the wonderful birth of a new child but no mention of the pain of the miscarriages before....of job changes and promotions but no insight into the frustration of job loss and feelings of dejection or the fear of not being able to provide for one's family. I see family photos but no photos of family feuds. I see evidence of the stand but not the fight; echoes of laughter but none of the screams; portraits of leaping but none of kneeling. I see pictures of locked arms but not the locked doors separating beds that were once one. What if we did see those contrasting pictures? Would societal pressures to be married be so strong? Perhaps not. Perhaps we would we exercise more caution.
Of course its natural for anyone to want to share their joy with the world but keep their struggles close. I don't fault anyone for sharing the joys of marriage, family and life on social media. I only want to highlight my thought: that though what we see may appear to sparkle and shine it either went through fire to get there or is a rip off and will wear away in due time. So, yes, want it, desire it and hope for it but do so with no delusions.
