I just concluded a 30-day restrictive diet and it reminded me of a fast I did a few years ago. In 2012, for 30 days I only ate fruits and vegetables. I don't do these things often hence the 4 year gap. Sure, I lose weight but I gain so much more insight into me, my body and life. I didn't document this diet but luckily, I had the foresight to chronicle my 2012 fast so you can journey with me...

30-day fast: I'll have fruits and vegetables with a side of juice please

Day 1

I bought $45 worth of fruits and veggies to last me a week. I tried to do as much organic as I could but it's expensive. The lab grown broccoli at 2 for $3 is so much cheaper than its organic counterpart. But, if I'm going to do this, I shall do it right!

Oh, I had brunch with some girlfriends today. A salad and a fruit bowl was what I feasted on as I tried to ignore the French toast, scrambled eggs and eggs Benedict surrounding me. Who wants that stuff anyway? Uuuum, me?

Day 2

I see the homeless all the time now. And I'm wondering why I didn't see them before. They are everywhere - walking on the streets during rush hour, sitting on the side walk, and today, sleeping on the road. On the way to Hillsong church this morning I saw a number of men sleeping on the road. In my hurry (of course I was late with two girlfriends staying at my place this weekend) I hardly saw them but their presence registered enough to stay on my mind throughout the service. God has already said that the kind of fast he wants is one that causes me to invite the homeless poor into my home and feed the hungry. So, on my way back from church I stopped to talk to one of the men sleeping on the floor. He hadn't had anything to eat all day so I walked to the Gorilla cheese cart with my friend and bought 4 meals of chicken parmesan sandwich and tater tots. I didn't feel better after handing out the meals but I knew I had done the right thing. What I really wanted to do was sit with them for a while and eat with them. But my own plans for the day and my self-consciousness with my friend being there got the better of me. God please give me another opportunity to do this.

Yuck! Lunch sucked. It sucked so much. I just kept telling myself, "Food is for nutrition and energy so eat it even if it doesn't taste nice." Oh! Did I mention that I was eating this mush of greenness while surrounded by the sights and smells of jollof rice, goat meat, turkey, egusi, pounded yam and dodo? That made my food suck even more!

Day 3

Break fast was steamed veggies. Not bad at all if I do say so myself.

I made a nice smoothie for lunch today. Who knew watermelon, strawberries and apples went so well together...yum! I shall be repeating you.

Watermelon, strawberry, and apple smoothie

Day 4

I already have a mutant power: bladder power. I pee aaaaaall the time. As my friend Yemi said, "maybe I can drown my enemies in pee."

I packed a salad to work today because I was unwilling to dish out $10 for salad yet again. Yay! for my wallet!

For the 10th time, its not a cleanse, it's a fast! Gosh! Ok, why am I so hell bent on making this thing sound so spiritual and insisting it be called a fast? I guess it's because in some way I feel insulted. How dare you call my self denial a cleanse? That's the holier than thou in me rearing its ugly head. Maybe if I really want people to know what I'm doing I should give it a name and just say its "so and so" and if they ask, what's that? then I can explain. Some part of me wants to challenge people to hop on board but I don't know how without a lengthy spiritual discussion.

I need to pee again but I just peed five minutes ago...bladder power on full force! Let's go! 3 times in less than 2hrs and I feel another one coming. I must have a lot of enemies :)

Day 6

Farmers market how did I live without you? What foolishness have my body and wallet endured all this time? The produce is organic and cheaper. Plus, I'm helping the farmers in my area stay in business. Isn't that so good of me? Ok, its not a big deal but it made me feel good when I paid $25 and walked home with heavy bags of fruits and vegetables. Awesomeness is what that is. The plums were absolutely delicious. I feel like we are having a love affair. Plum, you are now officially my favorite fruit.

Day 7

My tummy has gotten to the point where its saying, "Ok, I put up with this nonsense for a few days because I thought it was a faze. Now I've had enough! Feed me already!"

Day 8

I must say that I am resting more since being on this fast. I've spent my entire day at home and I'm perfectly content with being alone. I have things to do to pre-occupy my time that I am enjoying. I enjoyed making my smoothie this morning, I'm enjoying writing this chronicle, I'm enjoying spending time with God. On the subject of God, I feel a greater sensitivity in my Spirit. It's not as though now I can hear an audible voice of God and now every time God speaks I respond instantly. No, it's very subtle. This sensitivity is made manifest in the prompting in my heart I get when I snap at someone. It's not a feeling of guilt that I've done something wrong. It's the feeling of disgust at my sinful self for being so ugly! It's crawling to Jesus and asking Him to remove this newly seen ugly smear on my heart. I know this is the work of the Holy Spirit showing me things in me He wants to change and prune. Prune away God, please, for the love of me, Prune away!

This sensitivity is also felt when listening to songs and the lyrics jump at me. It's as though the music seeps into my soul and the lyrics speak to the most hidden parts of me. The same happens with Scripture. It just reaches in and touches the very depths of my soul. It's wonderful and horrible all at the same time because when these words go that deep it's heart wrenching but, it's wonderful because my spirit leaps for joy at their presence as it feeds on them and grows. In a sense, they are the organic food for which my spirit needs and constantly longs.

Day 9

(see Jen Hatmaker's book: 7)

““[Rather] is not this the fast that I have chosen: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every [enslaving] yoke?” ”

— Isaiah 58:6

These appear to be things that will change in the life of the person doing the fast. They will stop being wicked, let the oppressed (slaves) go free, and break all enslaving yokes in their lives. I am the "fastee" here so let's apply this to me. If this is what God wants fasting to do in my life and the life of others then I must see how I can ensure that this is what has happened at the end of this month with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Enslaving Yokes

Consumerism: Spending the money God has given me as though it were mine to do as I please with. This is the habit of purchasing more and more goods and products and not paying attention to the cost of the things I am buying because I know I can "afford" them.
Fast Food: Buying quick meals and not taking the time to cook nutritious meals. Convenience was more important to me than the welfare of my body and I became lazy.
Hustle and Bustle: Finding ways to always be "busy" and not taking the time to rest.

Breaking The Yokes

Financial Responsibility: All the money I have was given to me by God for a purpose. I have been given a lot more than I need because God has plans to use the money to bless other people. I must re-adjust my spending habits to allow this to be possible.

This month:

Only buy fresh fruits and vegetables from the farmers' market. It is cheaper and healthier
Look at the price of items before buying them. Always go for the cheaper alternative unless you can makea very solid case why not
Check out thrift stores
Stop eating out. No more restaurants this month unless there is a special occasion such as a birthday dinner
Plan ahead and take the time to look for ways to make purchasing things you need cheaper. Looking for deals or waiting for sales can help reduce the cost of needed items.

Eating Well: It is important for my body to be healthy for me to function at my best. It's hard today to spend quality time with God in the morning if I am always tired and cannot wake up. Since I am only eating fruits and vegetables this month I have been forced to eat well. This month:

Buy as much organic produce as possible.
Spend time doing research on the nutritional value of what I am eating
Cook all meals at home and take cooked meals to work too
Plan ahead. Get in the habit of planning meals for the week so that shopping can be done on the weekends and the meals can be prepared in advance as much as possible.

Rest! God gave us a day of rest because He knew we needed it. He not only gave it to us but has instructed us to rest for our own good. Rest is not an option, it is a loving demand. This month:

Start by keeping the Sabbath day Holy. Sunday is a day of rest. After church, GO HOME!
It's okay to say no to people. Think about what the commitment means to your ability to rest before agreeing to taking it up.
I don't have to respond to every text message or call as soon as I get it. No one will die if I put my phone off for a few hours so I can rest.

Side note: I had a wonderful mushroom and vegetable soup for dinner and shall have it again for lunch tomorrow. I've also ignored three texts and one IM while writing this :)

Day 10

Jesus said He is the vine and I am one of the branches (John 15) so why have I been living my life like an insect? Yes, you heard me, an insect! I have insisted on waking up in the morning and sucking the sweet nectar produced by the vine. This gives me the nutrition and energy I need to start my day and then I fly away forgetting the vine and its nectar. Yes, in the process of enjoying the nectar some pollen sticks to me which I inadvertently spread around in my daily routine; some lives are "touched," some "life" is spread. Sometimes I even plant a seed on fertile ground that with the help of other elements grows. I sometimes come back at night and enjoy the shade of the vine as I rest from a long days work. That is the life of an insect! But I don't see insect anywhere in my Bible. I've been called to be a branch!

A branch also enjoys nourishment from the vine but it is in the form of the sap flowing through its veins. And it cannot just leave and forget the vine when it is satiated and time demands its presence elsewhere. Oh, no! The second a branch leaves the vine it begins to die. For it to survive it must be constantly connected, constantly drawing its life from the vine. This is what it means to keep my mind stayed on God. It is to have His Spirit constantly ministering to my Spirit just as the sap constantly flows through the branch. If the branch remains connected and is preserved by the vine dresser, it produces fruit. A branch cannot will fruit to appear. No matter how hard it tries, it cannot produce fruit simply by trying. It is the care of the vine dresser and the constant connection to the vine that produces fruits. The branch's only role is to abide and remain vitally connected. But this fruit is not for its consumption, it is for the consumption of others. It is for the insects and birds and people to "taste and see the goodness of the Lord!" Now, when you eat succulent fruit plucked from a branch you don't say, "What a wonderful branch!" Certainly not! No one even remembers the branch. All the praise goes to the tree, the vine, and Jesus is the vine. So in turn as I remain connected to Jesus, the father keeps me clean and prunes me and I produce wonderful fruit and when people partake of the fruit, Jesus gets all the glory! Amen! Lord, make me a branch! I want to be a branch!

Day 11

It appears God is really allowing my finances to be squeezed this month. I think He's allowing it to teach me financial responsibility and total reliance on Him for provision. There's a great tendency to think of your job as your source of provision. I think God wants me to become aware of the fact that I am a steward; I am a steward of my body, the money I posses, the home in which I live, the car that I drive and everything else in my care. I must learn to use them as such and constantly look to the owner of all these resources, God, for how to use them. One day I will be a steward of much greater things so this is an important lesson to learn...being faithful with the little.

Day 12

There is no doubt in my mind that my body is using the food I eat more efficiently. The other day I was running late for work and couldn't make a smoothie (more like I was too lazy to make one) so I packed a pear and some water. As a ran up the stairs in the train station I suddenly felt short of breath. Then, I tried walking up the escalator instead of standing like I normally do (I told you I was running late) and my legs were so weak. It suddenly hit me like a brick! I'm hungry. Normally these words mean my stomach is empty and wants to refill itself. But today I understood the real meaning of those words. I get hungry because my body needs nutrients and energy. My body was telling me, "Yo! How do you expect me to do all this work if you haven't given me any source of energy? Normally I use the stuff from the day before but since you had fruit for lunch and soup for dinner it's all gone." I reached for the pear in my bag and drank plenty of water. By the time I got to work I was fine. I even ran down the stairs and my body was like, "We can do this!"

Day 14

Corn soup. A very tasty and quick meal. Who would have thought that blended corn and onions would taste this good. I can't wait to eat this with bread :) I'm actually realizing that simple and few ingredients can make a good meal and this one was ready in 5 minutes!

Day 15

I didn't even remember I was half way through the fast until someone mentioned it today. I think I've kinda gotten used to it. Well, not really used to it just more comfortable with it. I'd like to end this fast with just juicing for the last 10 days. This would require me buying a juicer and more fruits and veggies than I'm buying now. I already said I wanted to spend less this month so I'm not really sure how this is going to work.

I was listening to Kari Jobe "My Beloved" today and I feel as though this is what God is singing to me. This is what He is calling out to me and saying. This is what He has in store for me as a branch abiding in Him. He wants me to abide in Him not so that I can be under lock and key. This is no tyranny. He just wants to love me and speak words to me that evoke my beauty for I am His bride (Eph 5). Just listening to the lyrics of this song I began to realise that all these things God is singing to me requires that I completely surrender to Him. I can only cast all my cares down at His feet if I have surrendered them to Him and I am not still holding on to them; I can only come under His mercy and wait if I have surrendered to His mercy; I can only find my rest in Him if I have surrendered my worries and anxieties to Him; He can only breathe life inside of me if I have let go of the life I now have and accept the life He is offering; He can only bear me up on eagle's wings if I let Him carry me; I can only be His love if I have given Him my heart; He can only restore my soul if I've given Him my soul; See? Being intimate with God, being the Bride of Christ requires total surrender. It is only when I surrender everything that I will be a branch in Him, the Vine.

Day 18

It's as though the whole world heard me when I said I wanted to rest more and then conspired to make sure that did not happen. Between work and planning people's birthday shinanigans I got less sleep than is healthy. I was so tired I took yesterday off work but it appears that unless my phone is off I don't know how to rest because I spent most of the day on the phone and got plenty of rest but little sleep which is what I actually needed. Here's a thought: Tolu, re-read the section above on rest and this time stick to it! Noted.

Day 20

Juicing began today!

One would think that since I already knew ahead of time that I would be juicing for the next 10 days I would have prepared adequately for it. Well, one would be very wrong. As of this morning I did not even own a juicer. Luckily, you can find anything in New York City; there's a man in a cart right by work that makes fresh juices to your liking for $4.50. Yes, I know, I know. I said I wouldn't buy lunch but what was I supposed to do when I woke up this morning and did not find a juicer in my kitchen?

Okay, now I underestimated my stomach's response to juice. Here's what happened. It was a ridiculously busy morning. In fact, so much so that I didn't finally get up for a break until 2pm. By this point my stomach was yelling at me for food. On getting to the juice cart I ordered two 24oz juices; I was staaaaarving. I drank the first one rather quickly and it tasted, um, very green. I felt as though I was drinking grass. I don't know why I thought this would quell the hunger pangs. All I know is that as I finished the juice my stomach began yelling

““Are you crazy? You have refused to feed me all day and now you give me this crap? I said I wanted food not juice. What am I supposed to do with this? Did anyone tell you we were thirsty? No, I didn’t think so. And it even tastes like crap too. What’s this world becoming?” ”

— my stomach

All this came in the form of loud growling and persistent hunger pangs. I just pretended I heard none of it and began drinking the second cup of juice and then an interesting thing happened. Half way through the second cup I began to feel satiated. Hmmmmn...this juice actually tasted nice and all that fluid was filling my stomach.

Of course buying juice is not sustainable so I headed home, ran to the farmers market, and get this, I bought a box of apples and pears, 20 carrots, 8 beets for $30. Supermarket you have been ripping me off for a very long time now but no more! My eyes have opened. After this, I drove to Walmart to buy my juicer. After days of deliberation and praying I finally bought it and it works great! I just made myself the best tasting apple juice I've ever had in my entire life! Oh my goodness! What rubbish have I been drinking all theses years? I don't even want to think about the answer to that question.

So I have made it through an entire day on juice! I feel...ok actually. On to the next day!

apples and pears to last a life time...or a week if you're jucing

sand on my beets is evidence that these were plucked from the ground

Day 21

Still alive! And surviving on juice. I took a humungous pitcher of juice to work today. That was to be my mid morning snack, lunch, and afternoon snack. I got a few questions about it and by the end of the day I had successfully gotten someone to vow to start their own juice fast after the weekend. Yay!

I'm tired though. Is this because it's been a long week or is this my body reacting to the juicing?

Day 22

I cannot believe I only have 8 days left. I slept really well last night. I had plenty of energy throughout the day. I was told that by day 3 the hunger pangs would be gone. Lies! I felt them. Quite a few too. Ok, it's 9:22pm and I'm tired already. Hmmn...what's going on? I think I'm going to bed because the music I'm listening too is beginning to irritate me. That's usually a sign that my brain wants silence, that is, sleep.

Day 25

I was lied to! I was certainly lied to! What article was it that said that by day 3 of the juice fast you no longer feel hunger pangs? All lies! I'm hungry! Oh gosh! I don't like the feeling of being hungry. What's even worse is not being able to eat what my taste buds are craving to satiate the hunger: something solid. No such luck. I have to drink juice. If all my juice tasted nice maybe I wouldn't mind this so much but tonight's dinner was just short of nasty. I am certain that raw broccoli is something I still don't like. So while I write this I'm hungry. And did I mention that in the 25 days I've been doing this 11 pounds have disappeared from my body? Yes, 11 pounds! I wouldn’t have believed it either.

All this weight loss and hunger has got me thinking though. I think what is most fascinating is how my body reacts when it's hungry. It's all I can think about. And I don't want a salad when I'm hungry. Oh no! I want something my mouth will enjoy and will sit in my stomach and instantly make me feel full. It's as though I'm looking to gratify my mouth and stomach as quickly as possible. That's the reason Indomie and other "fast food" are such a viable option; they taste good and quickly satiate me. I have become so used to giving my body what it wants when it wants it and how it wants it. As I take another sip of my nasty juice I realise that though I am hungry I am telling my stomach that I'll respond to its cry for nutrients but not in the quick and unhealthy way it is used to. It reminds me of how a child says they want cookies because they are hungry. Of course the parents tell the child, "If you’re hungry then have lunch not cookies." You see, though cookies will temporarily satisfy your mouth and stomach, they do very little in providing the real need hunger represents.

This concept applies spiritually as well. From time to time our spirits gets hungry for God and we instantly put on "Christian" music or some other "pacifier" to make ourselves feel good. It's quick and does the job but it does little to satisfy the need that the spiritual hunger represents. Don't get me wrong, listening to music is great but our spirits are crying for intimacy with God and no quick and superficial fix will suffice. So long as the activity we engage in as a response to the hunger of our spirits actually feeds it with the intimacy with God it is craving, we have nourished it. Otherwise, we have only succeeded to feed it "fast food" that leaves it still lacking the nourishment it asked for in the first place. Now, do this over and over again and it is no wonder we find ourselves living like insects.

Day 28

Oh my days!!! I feel horrible. Argh!

I read this in an article before I started the fast:

“Stage 5 (Breaking the Fast)
The sticky, toxic, mucoid coating on the intestinal wall is loose, and the first meal frees it from the intestinal wall. Toxins enter the blood through the colon. The gallbladder dumps its waste in a heavy discharge of bile. This can cause an instant bowel movement upon eating followed by intense diarrhea.”

I thought to myself, great. That's probably an exaggeration. I had also read in other articles that you need to be careful when breaking your fast. I thought they were all exaggerating the shocking effect your body can have if you don't break slowly. I thought slowly meant I could eat a salad the very next day and in a week I can have meat again. I thought to myself, this weekend, let me juice all the vegetables I know I don’t like. I was particularly thinking of the huge squash I had in my fridge. So, for dinner I juiced it with some apples, celery and ginger. It was actually nice tasting but quite thick. I then realised that the squash had a "stringy" like texture in the middle and it was those strings that were now in my juice. Yes, I had just attempted to juice spaghetti squash and it's called so for a reason but I thought little of it and drank it anyway. I certainly wasn't going to throw it out and waste all that just because it had more sediment than normal. Less than 5 minutes after that, the excerpt above was exactly what happened to me. If a smoothie-like juice can do this to me, I fear to think what a salad would do. Now I see the importance of breaking the fast slowly. I'm glad I realised this today and not Monday morning at work.

Now that we are done looking at the silver lining of this experience. Whaaaaat? Do you mean to tell me that I have to keep juicing for at least another week? And that I can't have a salad for another 3-4 days? And I can't have rice for another 5 days? And I can't have chicken for another 2 weeks? And I can't have red meat for another month? No no no no no! No one told me this. I'm not prepared for this...mentally. I had already dreamed up my first meals. *stomach discomfort* I hear you stomach, I hear you. I guess this is not your fault. I was just the uninformed person that didn't do the due diligence. I was so keen on starting, getting through, and finishing this fast that I didn't really spend time thinking about what would happen when it ended. I knew that I didn’t want to just go back to eating the way I used to. I knew that I wanted to keep all the yokes broken and remember all the lessons learnt. What was missing was an action plan. I had one for every stage of this fast except the "what next?" Thinking about it now I would have probably done the juicing in the middle and not the end but now it's useless crying over spilt milk. *griping stomach pain* Yes, I know I know, this is just showing me how I take you for granted body. I do whatever I like to you and expect you to function just fine. Ok, I'll think about your well-being more now. What I put into you, when, and how are very important for all of us. I've got it (28 days after)!

Day 29

I have no idea what I am doing! I just realised that. With this fast, breaking it, living, serving God, I have no idea what I am doing! I spent close to 6 hours between yesterday and today watching the entire season of a show I haven't watched in close to a year. Don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with watching tv. I just feel as though there is a part of me that is trying to hold tightly to itself as it watches the approaching shears coming in to prune it away. It's that same part of me that is throwing a tantrum at the thought of not eating red meat for another month. Really, what's the big deal? How often do I eat red meat anyway? Probably once a month, so what's all the yelling about? I don't like talking about my fast anymore because I don't like my reaction. I don't like how insistent I am on ensuring people understand that the motivation is a spiritual one. Really, why do I care about that? If God really is the center of my life then His glory will shine through me. I won't have to try to generate light because the source is not me, it's God. I feel as though I have been "trying" to be a Christian. I have been trying to have an intimate relationship with God; trying to draw closer to Him; trying to be used by Him. And now I'm realising that my efforts are having the exact opposite effect of what I want. I am reflecting religion and not Christ. I don't like religion. In my heart I know I don't. But my actions say otherwise. All my "efforts" have given me some false sense of entitlement and elevated status. That holier-than-thou I was talking about earlier is much more real than I would like to admit and it is rooted in this concept. Aren't we all saved by grace through faith? If so then it is not my hard work that has drawn me close to God, it is the Holy Spirit. After all, He is the one that has worked in me to will and to do. If Jesus is to take center stage in my life then there must be less of me and more of Him.

As I end this fast, I realise that none of this was about me cleaning up my act. This fast was not about me eating healthier, or losing weight, or being a better Christian. Though, I must add that I've learned a lot about eating healthier and I have lost 11 pounds and I have learned more about me and God; however, it was about God making space for Him to work in my life and through me. He needed to clear away the clutter to make room for Him in my life. It was about the Vine Dresser cleaning me. It was about Him picking me, the drooping branch, out of the dirt, washing off the mold and mud, cutting off the dead leaves, and propping me up to receive His light and produce much fruit (see Bruce Wilkinson's Secrets of the Vine). It was all about Him. He needed to show me the miry clay and dead leaves in my life so He could make me all that He has in mind for me: a branch that produces abundant fruit for His glory.

Day 30

It's over! Last day. I weighed myself today and I was convinced the scale was bad. There is no way in the world I have lost that much weight. I have lost...wait for it...24 pounds! A friend of mine just took a picture of me and I sure do look skinny. I would never have believed it was possible if it hadn't happened to me.

In these thirty days, I have learnt so much. I got a crash course on nutrition, excess reduction, low cost shopping, rest, prayer and many others. A fast offers a protecting covering over me. It is a purposeful time of consecration and closer fellowship with God; however, at some point it ends and life goes on as usual. As I end this fast, my prayer is that I will move from under the covering of the fast into the permanent covering of Jesus; that He would help solidify everything He has taught me in this period and that He would continue to keep me "clean." I want the cleansing effects, both physical and spiritual, to be permanent.